Congratulations Pete and Elkanah, welcome to the world of married life!
I feel that I redeamed myself somewhat I delivered my best mans speech on Saturday with only a couple of stutters and fluff ups and got a fair few laughs in the right place:
Good evening Ladies and Gentlemen –
I would like to start by thanking Pete on behalf of the bridesmaids for his kind comments and echo the fact that they look wonderful and performed their role fantastically.
Let me just say that the years I spent in the company of the groom means that he had as much of a part in developing my sense of humour as anyone. So, although I have tried to make this speech as funny as possible, please blame Pete if it’s not.
As some of you know, Pete was my best man nearly a year ago and he did a wonderful job. However Pete, there are many reasons why you should get married and I’m not sure if revenge is one of them.
Having never been a best man before, I was a little perplexed and wondered how I was going to go about it. My wife suggested the Internet as a first port of call, which bombarded me with a wealth of information, including a useful list of duties. But I was immediately stumped by one of them – ensure that the groom’s face and hair are in order. Well Pete, I have to say that if God didn’t get them in order the first time around, what chance did I have?
In writing this speech I did quite a bit of research on Pete’s history, so I thought I should search for Pete’s name on Google, and this is what I found:
• There are approximately 10,700,000 hits for Peter Arthur
• I discovered Pete is a Musician – that explains the guitar
• A Teacher – that explains the “Know it all attitude”
• A stock market trader with over a billion is assets – that explains the nightly take away meals.
• A Doctor of Biochemistry – that explains the contents of the fridge
• and a Scott – that explains everything else
I think you will all agree that Pete is a man of many talents!
I wonder who will be doing the cooking in the newest Arthur household? During the time Pete and I were house mates at university we spent some time cooking together. It was Pete’s job to do the cooking and my job to go from room to room removing batteries from the smoke alarms. So… which job would you prefer Elkanah
I feel as the best man and as a recently married man myself; I should impart some of my experience and knowledge I have gained from my married life:
• The most important phrase is “I’m Sorry”.
• The worst possible phrase is “I know I am right”.
• Socks are just socks; they are not worth arguing about.
• Be honest about each others cooking, or you will be eating it for the next 50 years of your lives.
• One good turn gets the duvet.
In all honesty and sincerity, Pete has been the best friend to me over the years I have known him; I have been really blessed by his friendship, kindness and understanding. I am sure everyone that knows him will not dispute that he is a really terrific guy.
I have not had much chance to spend time with Elkanah, however from the way Pete talks about her, and the way he speaks her name she is obviously the centre of Pete’s world, and today I can see why. Elkanah you look beautiful today.
It is an honour, all be it a most terrifying one, to have been asked to be the best man here today. However I do feel a certain relief to see the end of my duties in sight, as I’m totally certain that Pete will never have any need to ask me to be his best man again.
So now I come to my final wedding day duty which isn’t a duty really – it’s a real pleasure: on behalf of the bridesmaids and myself I sincerely wish you and your lovely wife, everlasting love and happiness!